• Anneke

About needs and desires


Last weekend I was asked to share something about the time of my burn-out (in 2016). I realised that I am now súper clear about how I got in and what helped me to get out, but when I was in the middle of it, I had no clue. I felt miserable and lethargic and was só mad this happend to me. ⁠

Until the summer of 2014 my life looked like this. I had a steady job at a government organisation, a long and stable relationship, nice friends to go out with and the luxury to travel frequently which I absolutely loved. The relationship and the job gave me a steady base in which I felt safe and the social events and traveling gave me a lot of energy. ⁠

My needs and desires

That was a fine balance for a long time, but at some point it caused friction. The traveling and going no longer compensated for the fact I felt trapped in the relationship and the job. ⁠

Looking back now I see I acted way too little on my needs and desires. I spend most of my time in a situation that was safe, but also limiting and confining. ⁠

What I discovered was that some things are really important for me:⁠

  • Freedom - to make my own choices and to my own thing⁠

  • Adventure - I am very curious and love to discover and pioneer⁠

  • Impact - on top I want to make a difference, preferably for someone else⁠

Really standing up for my needs and desires was extremely scary for me.

What if people wouldn’t like me anymore if I did my own thing? What if I am not able to make an impact? ⁠

Now that I experience a lot of freedom, adventure and impact, I can really feel how valuable it is to ho through these fears and to really listen to (and be honest about) my needs and desires. It gives such a tremendous feeling of power, energy and trust. ⁠

Also I feel how valuable it is to have these desires so clear for myself. As soon as I feel out of balance, usually one of these three is unfulfilled. Which means there’s something to do for me there (mostly simply expressing my need). ⁠

What I think I want to share here is… Dare to stand up for your needs and desires, no matter how scary. It’s worth it!⁠

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© 2019 by Anneke Dekker Coaching en Workshops| Fotografie: Minimal-U & Unmask Photography